A friend blogged about what he was most thankful for this last year, which prompted me to do the same. I pondered this last year and considered what was I most grateful for. One thing stood out from everything else--freedom from pain.
Around 2006, I was diagnosed with interstitial cystitis (IC), sometimes called painful bladder syndrome. Basically, it means that the lining of the bladder is fractured, and that urine can leak into the surrounding tissue, causing extreme pain and muscle spasms. This condition, and the pain it causes, has ruled my life for the last several years.
It was like I had a never ending bladder infection. Holding urine in the bladder was painful, so I had to urinate frequently. Sometimes, I was urinating every 15 minutes. If I had to hold it, the pain would grow so intense, I thought I would pass out. If I held it too long, I would be wracked with painful bladder spasms for hours afterward. I had extremely painful flare ups, which could last for days. These were usually triggered by my diet, or by standing too long, or by exercise. Sometimes I couldn't figure out what triggered a flare up.
This affected every aspect of my life. Nearly everything I loved to do in life caused me pain. Hiking, fishing, walking, traveling, everything was painful or caused me hours of pain afterward. I never went anywhere without carrying pain pills. I would inwardly panic in public places if I did not know where the restroom was located. Standing was painful. Walking was painful. I hated to share rides or travel with other people if the trip was longer than an hour. Meetings and presentations were pure hell if I was in the midst of a flare up. How do you explain why you are leaving for the bathroom every 15 minutes? If I dehydrated myself to avoid urinating, I would cause a flare up and my bladder would spasm painfully for hours. On the other hand, if I drank water, I would would have to urinate frequently which was also painful. It was a catch-22 of pain and embarrassment.
Every year the pain grew worse. About a year ago, I decided to find a urologist who specialized in IC to see if there was anything new I could try. She prescribed some medications to try. These medications helped with the bladder spasms, but I was still never sure when the pain would flatten me. The urologist then suggested I get an ultrasound to check to see if the fibroids in my uterus were pushing on my bladder. Sure enough, the fibroids had grown substantially and were pressing hard on my bladder, reducing its capacity by half. My urologist was confident that they were in large part responsible for my pain. I scheduled a hysterectomy, which I had last January.
After my surgery recovery, everything started to slowly improve. My bladder started to heal. I was able to sleep at night, since I no longer had to get up every hour. I could hold my urine without causing hours of bladder spasms, which freed me to once again enjoy things I had given up. I could watch an entire movie in the theater without having to leave for the bathroom. I could go hiking again, without having to spend the next day in bed with a heating pad and pain meds. I could do my work, and not panic during meetings. It was like the world once again opened up for me. Things which were impossible became possible. I had my life back. I was finally free from the pain which had come to define me and had ruled my life.
I still have IC. I still have to watch my diet. I still have flare ups, and occasional bouts of pain. But instead of controlling me, I can control the pain. That is freedom. We never really appreciate what we have until it is gone. I am very blessed, because I now have a second chance to enjoy things which I lost for years. I strive to never stop appreciating what I have and what I can do, because I never know when I might lose them again. The IC could worsen, and there is a possibility I could be back to where I was. Every single day is a blessing, and that is easy to forget. I am so grateful that this last year I got my life back, and I want to enjoy it to the fullest.
I am so thankful to have my life back. I am so thankful for my family and my husband, who have supported me through all the years of pain. I am so thankful that I can once again enjoy doing things with them without pain. I am so thankful I have a second chance to appreciate all those things I took for granted.
It is easy to be thankful for the big things in life. What I have discovered through all this is this. Be thankful for the little things, because you can never be sure when you might lose them and realize they are not so little after all.
Happy Thanksgiving!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Harney Peak, South Dakota
I have had so many adventures the last couple of weeks, and there is so much I want to add to this blog. But I decided not to post my adventures in order. I am going to start with the most recent, our last day in South Dakota.
Harney Peak is the highest point in South Dakota at 7,242 feet. It is also the highest point in the United States east of the Rockies. For that matter, it is the highest point between the Rockies and the Swiss Alps. But I had never heard of it, until my sister and I started planning this quick trip to South Dakota.
As we were planning the trip, I asked Greg if there was anything he wanted to see while we were there. He said he would really like to hike to Harney Peak. His father worked in the CCC (Civilian Conservation Corps) in the 1930's in South Dakota. He had spent time working as a fire lookout on Harney Peak. Now, it is not common knowledge, but I have totally loved fire lookouts since I read an article on them as a kid in Ranger Rick. Even though I am a bit afraid of heights, I have always wanted to spend the night at one of the old fire lookouts the Forest Service has converted to recreational rentals. I love visiting fire lookouts, even though with my mild height phobia, I haven't ever really climbed to the top of any. I did a quick internet search, saw the photos of the Harney Peak Lookout, read a description of the trail, and we decided that this was a hike we had to make.
The hike to Harney Peak by the easiest route is about 3.5 miles with an elevation gain of about 1100 feet. Easy enough, unless you are completely out of shape, like I am. We would also have the dogs, because we could not find a dog sitter. That was not a problem, since both Custer State Park and Black Hills National Forest are both dog-friendly.
On Tuesday, July 31, my sister and her family left for their new home in North Dakota after a tearful goodbye. Greg and I left for our hike to Harney Peak. We got a late start, and it was a warm day. But we wanted to say our goodbyes, especially since we aren't sure when we will next see my sister's family. On our way to the trailhead, we stopped at the Prairie Berry Winery in Hill City, SD for a quick tasting. If you are ever in Hill City, be sure to stop. They have all kinds of interesting, tasty, local fruit wines.
We decided to take the trailhead from Sylvan Lake in Custer State Park, which is the shortest and easiest hike. After a little research on the internet, we decided to take the #9 trail up to the peak, and the #4 trail back. If you go yourself, I recommend this route. The #4 trail has a lot less people on it, and it is easier to descend than it is to climb. The trails are well maintained, easy to follow, well marked, and heavily used. This hike is very popular.
Greg took Jefferson, while I took Snicker and Franklin Poodlepants. Dogs must be on leash or under strict voice control. At the best of times, our dogs are under what we think is strict, but they think is loose, voice control (what can I say? This is our failure, not theirs). So leashes were necessary. This actually worked well, because Snicker and Franklin were a help pulling me up the hill (downhill was another story).
Not quite halfway up the #9 trail, we got our first glimpse from the trail of the lookout. Harney Peak Lookout is located within the Black Elk Wilderness Area, and is no longer an active lookout.
There is very little water on the trail, at least at this time of year. The #9 trail crosses a small creek at about the halfway mark, and after that, there is no water until you get to the top. Greg carried about 6 liters of water, both for himself and the dogs, since we weren't sure there would be water in the creek (and we forgot that there is water at the top). Even with the extra water, and some time to cool down at the halfway point, by the time we neared the top, Franklin and Snicker were very tired.
Luckily, we had seen a number of wet dogs coming down the trail with their owners, who assured us that there was a nice swimming hole at the top. I wish I had taken more pictures of the final stair climb to the lookout, but I was too busy trying pull two very tired, hot dogs the last leg of the hike to get them to water. Once we reached the top, Greg took all the dogs to find the water hole, and I took time to take a couple of pictures of the view we hiked so far to see.
There were some kids who were more than happy to lead Greg and the dogs to the old reservoir.
For water dogs, this is the bliss at the end of a long, hot hike.
I took some more pictures from the lookout, but now, I wish I had taken more. I really was concerned about the dogs, and I wanted to make sure that they were recuperating, knowing that we had a 3.5 mile hike back. Dark clouds were also starting to gather on the horizon, and I definitely did not want to get stuck on Harney Peak during a thunderstorm. I took this picture of Mount Rushmore from inside the lookout; the Presidents are facing the opposite way, so it may not be recognizable.
I climbed down to where the dogs were happily swimming and cooling off. This view of the lookout and old pumphouse shows just how impressive this lookout is. I don't think they build them like this anymore. The CCC built this lookout in the late 1930's, at about the same time Mount Rushmore was being finished.
Swimming for a lab is like a solar panel to a battery. It totally recharged the dogs.
So much so, that Snicker and Jefferson started finding sticks for us to throw for them.
Dogs have quick recurperative powers (quicker than me, for sure!).
At this point, we figured the dogs had rested enough, and we would head back up to the lookout for some pictures before the dark clouds that were gathering became a storm above us. There are several levels within the lookout--Greg climbed to the highest level for a look. I was happy to stay on the ground with the dogs.
Here is a closeup view of Mount Rushmore from Harney Peak. The parking area and memorial is visible to the right. This view has now completely destroyed the final scenes of North by Northwest for me. I will still love that movie, though.
Cathedral Spires and Little Devil's Tower from the entrance to Harney Peak Lookout. The #4 trail we descended by weaves between these formations.
The entrance to Harney Peak Lookout. To the left in the picture, you can see the cable that descends from the lightning rod at the top of the lookout. As the highest point in South Dakota, the lookout must get struck by lightning a lot. It is something to keep in mind when hiking up there.
Greg getting a picture of me getting a picture of him. You can see the thunderstorms building all around us. I really wish we would have had more time at the top. It is absolutely spectacular.
I can only imagine what it must have been like to live up here with these views surrounding you all day.
With the sky getting darker and darker, we decided we better start down the trail. We had a bit of trouble getting the dogs down the stairs. There are a couple of flights of wrought iron stairs. The stairs are not solid, so there is a view to the ground below. Franklin and Jefferson wanted nothing to do with going down them. Not even jerky could persuade them. It probably took about twenty minutes, but we finally managed to wrestle, bribe, and drag them down the stairs. By that time, it was getting darker, and the winds were picking up.
I really wish I had some pictures to share of the hike down, because the #4 trail through the Cathedral Spires is also spectacular. But the thunderstorm was upon us, and a light rain was starting to fall. We were trying to make the quickest time possible down the mountain, just in case the light rain and distant thunder turned into a downpour. The #4 trail doesn't get as much use as the #9 trail, and there is a lot more beetle-killed trees along the trail. With the wind rocking all the dead trees, we decided it was best not to linger for any photos.
I really hope to return to Harney Peak, however, and spend more time. The views from the peak were magnificent, and the area was magical. Even with the crowds, it was well worth the time and effort to visit. I am really glad we got to see for ourselves one of the places Greg's dad lived and worked.
On our drive out on the Needles Highway, this was our final view of Harney Peak and the lookout. I like to think that the rainbow is a promise we will return.
Harney Peak is the highest point in South Dakota at 7,242 feet. It is also the highest point in the United States east of the Rockies. For that matter, it is the highest point between the Rockies and the Swiss Alps. But I had never heard of it, until my sister and I started planning this quick trip to South Dakota.
As we were planning the trip, I asked Greg if there was anything he wanted to see while we were there. He said he would really like to hike to Harney Peak. His father worked in the CCC (Civilian Conservation Corps) in the 1930's in South Dakota. He had spent time working as a fire lookout on Harney Peak. Now, it is not common knowledge, but I have totally loved fire lookouts since I read an article on them as a kid in Ranger Rick. Even though I am a bit afraid of heights, I have always wanted to spend the night at one of the old fire lookouts the Forest Service has converted to recreational rentals. I love visiting fire lookouts, even though with my mild height phobia, I haven't ever really climbed to the top of any. I did a quick internet search, saw the photos of the Harney Peak Lookout, read a description of the trail, and we decided that this was a hike we had to make.
The hike to Harney Peak by the easiest route is about 3.5 miles with an elevation gain of about 1100 feet. Easy enough, unless you are completely out of shape, like I am. We would also have the dogs, because we could not find a dog sitter. That was not a problem, since both Custer State Park and Black Hills National Forest are both dog-friendly.
On Tuesday, July 31, my sister and her family left for their new home in North Dakota after a tearful goodbye. Greg and I left for our hike to Harney Peak. We got a late start, and it was a warm day. But we wanted to say our goodbyes, especially since we aren't sure when we will next see my sister's family. On our way to the trailhead, we stopped at the Prairie Berry Winery in Hill City, SD for a quick tasting. If you are ever in Hill City, be sure to stop. They have all kinds of interesting, tasty, local fruit wines.
We decided to take the trailhead from Sylvan Lake in Custer State Park, which is the shortest and easiest hike. After a little research on the internet, we decided to take the #9 trail up to the peak, and the #4 trail back. If you go yourself, I recommend this route. The #4 trail has a lot less people on it, and it is easier to descend than it is to climb. The trails are well maintained, easy to follow, well marked, and heavily used. This hike is very popular.
Greg took Jefferson, while I took Snicker and Franklin Poodlepants. Dogs must be on leash or under strict voice control. At the best of times, our dogs are under what we think is strict, but they think is loose, voice control (what can I say? This is our failure, not theirs). So leashes were necessary. This actually worked well, because Snicker and Franklin were a help pulling me up the hill (downhill was another story).
Not quite halfway up the #9 trail, we got our first glimpse from the trail of the lookout. Harney Peak Lookout is located within the Black Elk Wilderness Area, and is no longer an active lookout.
There is very little water on the trail, at least at this time of year. The #9 trail crosses a small creek at about the halfway mark, and after that, there is no water until you get to the top. Greg carried about 6 liters of water, both for himself and the dogs, since we weren't sure there would be water in the creek (and we forgot that there is water at the top). Even with the extra water, and some time to cool down at the halfway point, by the time we neared the top, Franklin and Snicker were very tired.
Luckily, we had seen a number of wet dogs coming down the trail with their owners, who assured us that there was a nice swimming hole at the top. I wish I had taken more pictures of the final stair climb to the lookout, but I was too busy trying pull two very tired, hot dogs the last leg of the hike to get them to water. Once we reached the top, Greg took all the dogs to find the water hole, and I took time to take a couple of pictures of the view we hiked so far to see.
There were some kids who were more than happy to lead Greg and the dogs to the old reservoir.
For water dogs, this is the bliss at the end of a long, hot hike.
I took some more pictures from the lookout, but now, I wish I had taken more. I really was concerned about the dogs, and I wanted to make sure that they were recuperating, knowing that we had a 3.5 mile hike back. Dark clouds were also starting to gather on the horizon, and I definitely did not want to get stuck on Harney Peak during a thunderstorm. I took this picture of Mount Rushmore from inside the lookout; the Presidents are facing the opposite way, so it may not be recognizable.
I climbed down to where the dogs were happily swimming and cooling off. This view of the lookout and old pumphouse shows just how impressive this lookout is. I don't think they build them like this anymore. The CCC built this lookout in the late 1930's, at about the same time Mount Rushmore was being finished.
Swimming for a lab is like a solar panel to a battery. It totally recharged the dogs.
So much so, that Snicker and Jefferson started finding sticks for us to throw for them.
Dogs have quick recurperative powers (quicker than me, for sure!).
At this point, we figured the dogs had rested enough, and we would head back up to the lookout for some pictures before the dark clouds that were gathering became a storm above us. There are several levels within the lookout--Greg climbed to the highest level for a look. I was happy to stay on the ground with the dogs.
Here is a closeup view of Mount Rushmore from Harney Peak. The parking area and memorial is visible to the right. This view has now completely destroyed the final scenes of North by Northwest for me. I will still love that movie, though.
Cathedral Spires and Little Devil's Tower from the entrance to Harney Peak Lookout. The #4 trail we descended by weaves between these formations.
The entrance to Harney Peak Lookout. To the left in the picture, you can see the cable that descends from the lightning rod at the top of the lookout. As the highest point in South Dakota, the lookout must get struck by lightning a lot. It is something to keep in mind when hiking up there.
Greg getting a picture of me getting a picture of him. You can see the thunderstorms building all around us. I really wish we would have had more time at the top. It is absolutely spectacular.
I can only imagine what it must have been like to live up here with these views surrounding you all day.
With the sky getting darker and darker, we decided we better start down the trail. We had a bit of trouble getting the dogs down the stairs. There are a couple of flights of wrought iron stairs. The stairs are not solid, so there is a view to the ground below. Franklin and Jefferson wanted nothing to do with going down them. Not even jerky could persuade them. It probably took about twenty minutes, but we finally managed to wrestle, bribe, and drag them down the stairs. By that time, it was getting darker, and the winds were picking up.
I really wish I had some pictures to share of the hike down, because the #4 trail through the Cathedral Spires is also spectacular. But the thunderstorm was upon us, and a light rain was starting to fall. We were trying to make the quickest time possible down the mountain, just in case the light rain and distant thunder turned into a downpour. The #4 trail doesn't get as much use as the #9 trail, and there is a lot more beetle-killed trees along the trail. With the wind rocking all the dead trees, we decided it was best not to linger for any photos.
I really hope to return to Harney Peak, however, and spend more time. The views from the peak were magnificent, and the area was magical. Even with the crowds, it was well worth the time and effort to visit. I am really glad we got to see for ourselves one of the places Greg's dad lived and worked.
On our drive out on the Needles Highway, this was our final view of Harney Peak and the lookout. I like to think that the rainbow is a promise we will return.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Keeping a promise: a road trip to nowhere
Years ago, I made a deal with my niece, Kaitlyn; if she improved her grades by a certain amount, I would take her on a weekend trip. Her grades improved drastically over the next year. I now needed to fulfill my promise to take her camping.
But things kept getting in the way of our scheduling the trip. To my shame, one of those things was my job. We had a weekend scheduled, but a deadline came up at work, forcing me, I thought, to cancel our time together. After I put off the promise to my niece until a better time, I met my work deadline, only to find out that others on the team couldn't meet the deadline, so the deadline was changed. After that, I was determined not to let work get in the way of promises to my friends and family ever again.
But Kaitlyn was getting older, and her schedule was getting busier. I took a new job with a promotion, moved to a different state, got married, and my schedule got busier. But Kaitlyn and I kept reminding each of the unkept promise and continued to try to find a time that would work for both of us.
The time has come. Kaitlyn flew out this weekend to spend a week with me before her family picks her up on their way to their new home in North Dakota. Because they are in the middle of a big upheaval as they move from California, Kaitlyn and I decided to keep our trip simple. We are going camping along the Pony Express Backcountry Byway.
The Pony Express Backcountry Byway makes its way across the western desert of Utah. It is a very remote area in a state with lots of remote areas. No gas stations, no restaurants, no water--133 miles of gravel road. A road trip to the middle of nowhere.
Obviously, there is no Internet connection where we are going. No cell service either. The description and pictures of our trip will wait until we get back. Today we are heading out to spend time together in fulfillment of a promise long in coming. See you when we get back!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
But things kept getting in the way of our scheduling the trip. To my shame, one of those things was my job. We had a weekend scheduled, but a deadline came up at work, forcing me, I thought, to cancel our time together. After I put off the promise to my niece until a better time, I met my work deadline, only to find out that others on the team couldn't meet the deadline, so the deadline was changed. After that, I was determined not to let work get in the way of promises to my friends and family ever again.
But Kaitlyn was getting older, and her schedule was getting busier. I took a new job with a promotion, moved to a different state, got married, and my schedule got busier. But Kaitlyn and I kept reminding each of the unkept promise and continued to try to find a time that would work for both of us.
The time has come. Kaitlyn flew out this weekend to spend a week with me before her family picks her up on their way to their new home in North Dakota. Because they are in the middle of a big upheaval as they move from California, Kaitlyn and I decided to keep our trip simple. We are going camping along the Pony Express Backcountry Byway.
The Pony Express Backcountry Byway makes its way across the western desert of Utah. It is a very remote area in a state with lots of remote areas. No gas stations, no restaurants, no water--133 miles of gravel road. A road trip to the middle of nowhere.
Obviously, there is no Internet connection where we are going. No cell service either. The description and pictures of our trip will wait until we get back. Today we are heading out to spend time together in fulfillment of a promise long in coming. See you when we get back!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Cacti--Daily Detail
My cacti are loving the warm weather and the fact that they are once again outside for the season. Of all my plants, my cacti are the least fussy; they thrive on neglect. And yet they produce flowers as gorgeous as my most finicky plants. They are a reminder to take the time to pay attention to simple joys in my life, and not let the finicky and demanding concerns of life take over my entire perspective.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Terrestrial garter snake--Daily Detail
Today while Greg and I were biking on the Legacy Parkway Trail, we saw this garter snake sunning itself.
As I pulled up and turned around to go get a better look, Greg said, "Now don't go and pick it up!"
Sometimes, I think he knows me too well. I didn't pick it up at his behest, but I did snap a few photos.
Via Flickr:
Legacy Parkway Trail, Farmington, Utah
As I pulled up and turned around to go get a better look, Greg said, "Now don't go and pick it up!"
Sometimes, I think he knows me too well. I didn't pick it up at his behest, but I did snap a few photos.
Via Flickr:
Legacy Parkway Trail, Farmington, Utah
Friday, April 20, 2012
Quaking Aspen--Daily Detail
Aspens are almost never still. A mere breath of a breeze will stir the leaves into motion. Despite their nearly constant motion, aspens fill me with peace. I could spend hours watching how the light plays through the leaves and branches of aspen trees. The light and shadows are endlessly changing.
Aspens are fascinating to me for many reasons. The leaves are so susceptible to movement because of their flattened and flexible petioles. The trees reproduce by cloning, so entire aspen groves can actually be a single genetic individual. Within a single aspen clone, thousands of trees with identical genes grow side by side, yet each one is also unique. Aspen bark is smooth and white, a perfect canvas for carving. Arboglyphs, carvings by Basque shepherds, can be found in many aspen groves in the Great Basin. While in the company of aspens, there is always something intriguing to contemplate.
I have three full grown aspens in my yard. They are working hard at cloning themselves, and many baby aspens pop up in the lawn every summer. I am singling out a few and allowing them to grow. Someday, I hope to enjoy an aspen grove in my backyard. In the meantime, I enjoy each individual aspen I have.
Aspens are fascinating to me for many reasons. The leaves are so susceptible to movement because of their flattened and flexible petioles. The trees reproduce by cloning, so entire aspen groves can actually be a single genetic individual. Within a single aspen clone, thousands of trees with identical genes grow side by side, yet each one is also unique. Aspen bark is smooth and white, a perfect canvas for carving. Arboglyphs, carvings by Basque shepherds, can be found in many aspen groves in the Great Basin. While in the company of aspens, there is always something intriguing to contemplate.
I have three full grown aspens in my yard. They are working hard at cloning themselves, and many baby aspens pop up in the lawn every summer. I am singling out a few and allowing them to grow. Someday, I hope to enjoy an aspen grove in my backyard. In the meantime, I enjoy each individual aspen I have.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
View from my window
When I am having a tough day at work, I can view the distant mountains through my office window, breathe deeply, and reset my perspective. Today the clouds were dramatic, and the light was constantly changing.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
The Daily Detail - Day One
All too often, I find myself racing through life, too focused on the task at hand to appreciate the beauty around me, except in passing. In order to slow down, look around, and appreciate the abundance of life around me, I have decided to embark upon a little project I am calling the Daily Detail. The Daily Detail will be a photo of something that catches my eye during the day. Now I am much too much a slacker to get this done every day, but I want to do it as often as possible. Just as a reminder to myself how important it is to slow down and appreciate the life I have.
I pass the Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd in Ogden, Utah everyday on my walk to work. The church was built 150 years ago, and despite being on a very busy road, there is always a feeling of peace surrounding the church and its gardens. The spring flowers are blooming, and pale spring green leaves are unfurling on the trees. Today, everything was kissed by the rain.
I pass the Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd in Ogden, Utah everyday on my walk to work. The church was built 150 years ago, and despite being on a very busy road, there is always a feeling of peace surrounding the church and its gardens. The spring flowers are blooming, and pale spring green leaves are unfurling on the trees. Today, everything was kissed by the rain.
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