Making mistakes and looking stupid

This is the first time I have been in a country where my language isn't the one spoken.  This brings challenges I hadn't expected, although I anticipated several obvious challenges. What I didn't anticipate was how my fear and dislike of appearing stupid might hinder me in a country where I don't speak the language.

I hate looking stupid. I hate it so much, it borders on obsession at times.  After some conversations where I feel I don't make a good impression, or I wish I had said something different, or I am not really sure how the conversation went, I will spend hours replaying the conversation in my head, analyzing it, and agonizing over my perceived mistakes. Not only do I hate looking stupid, I hate rejection, so sometimes I would rather not even ask a question than appear to not know what I am doing or to be told no. There are some instances where this is a good thing, but very often I miss out because I am unwilling to step out and ask questions when I don't know something.

Now the good thing about wanting to look like I know what I am doing is that I do a lot of research ahead of time to be well prepared.  This helped us avoid being scammed yesterday by roving groups of pickpockets and cons at the Sacre Coeur.  I know the layout of the neighborhood where we are staying, and where the grocer is.  I know where all the metro stations are.  I am well prepared in everything I can be.  But what I don't know are the very simple things, the things that no guidebook tells you, like how to order food in a cafe. Do I just sit at a table and wait for the waiter to come and take my order? Do I wait to be seated? Do I pay the waiter or at the counter? Tips or not?  And I am finding there are many simple things I do not know how to do because I am so used to how they are done at home.  Not speaking the language compounds the challenge, because I can't communicate well enough to ask about differences or find out how things are done differently.

In a country where I don't speak the language, there is no avoiding looking stupid at times.  Not only do I not know the language, I don't really know the culture, so I am bound to make mistakes.  What I found out yesterday is that I just need to let my fear go, just go ahead and look stupid, make mistakes, be understanding, and above all LEARN. I cannot let my weakness of wanting to be perfect (or at least appear so) make me miss out on new experiences.  It is an important lesson for me to learn.